There are great debates in life which are ever-present, weaving themselves in and out of your conversations, your relationships, your general existence, and resurfacing just often enough that they never slip entirely from your consciousness. Of these epic, recurring existential questions, perhaps my favorite is the classic “If You Could Have Any Superpower, What Would You Choose?” conundrum—it’s a big one here at Tordot headquarters (perhaps unsurprisingly). The smart money usually goes with teleportation. (We’re stuck in New York City, dealing with subways all day; teleportation is an extremely popular fantasy, if not an obsession, with most people I know.) There’s also invisibility and telepathy (Omega-class only, of course). There’s the power of flight, which would certainly be a good time, and then super-speed, telekinetic capabilities, etc…but I’m not interested. I know what I want, because I have seen it in action. Once upon a time, in the sparkly, neon-pink light of the 1980s, I glimpsed the possibility of life at its most perfect, and it involved alien-human hybridity, Burt Reynolds, and The Power To Stop Time. It was…Out Of This World.
Seriously, does anyone else remember this show?
In my hazy, Super Mario-addled memory, Out Of This World was on for a brief season or two sometime in the late 80s…I was actually mildly shocked to learn that the show actually ran in the U.S. for five full seasons, from 1987 to 1991. Here’s the thing—let me come out right now and say it—this was not a good show. Even a naive little grade schooler like myself could smell the fetid stench of mediocrity all over this thing…and yet I loved it. And here’s the reason: the series centers on a seemingly ordinary girl named Evie, who reaches her thirteenth birthday and finds out that she’s NOT LIKE OTHER KIDS. She has special powers. Why, you ask?
Well, turns out the dad she’s never met isn’t some lame old “Secret Agent” like mom said, after all. He’s an alien. Who also happens to be…Mr. Burt Reynolds. Old Sex-Moustache himself. (At least that’s what we called him. Back in grade school).
So: Evie’s parents met when her father’s spaceship crash-landed on Earth; Troy and Donna fell in love, married and (ahem) “merged lifeforms” in the early 70s. Soon after Evie’s birth, Troy was called back to his home planet, Antareus, because war had broken out. After her Alien-Bat Mitzvah-esque coming of age, Evie is able to communicate with Troy through a glowing cube-shaped device (cleverly dubbed “The Cube”), which usually sits on the nightstand next to her bed. Because what teenager wouldn’t want her all-powerful alien father, voiced by Mr. Burt Reynolds, lurking next to her bed…at all times?
Shudder.
Moving on. To be honest, the rest of the show was either a big, boring blur, or else I’ve just blocked it out. Evie was saddled with an overprotective mother, the usual sitcom-teenager problems (boys, homework, boys, Burt Reynolds in cube form, etc.), and a crappy supporting cast of none-too-memorable friends, family and neighbors, but none of those details actually mattered, because (as I may have already mentioned) she had the amazing ability to freakin’ stop time! Just by pressing the tips of her index fingers together, Evie could bring life to a standstill. People? Animals? Inanimate objects? Utterly frozen, for as long as she needed to sort things out. Time and space bowed to her every whim.
It was truly awesome (and not just because it was the 80s, when everything was theoretically “awesome”). In all seriousness, what could possibly be greater than the power to control time? Teleportation is nice, sure, but what’s the rush? Just tap your fingers together, and get there however—and whenever—you feel like it. Take the slow boat. Fix yourself a drink and set up a giant Slip ‘n’ Slide to your destination of choice—take all the time you need! Steal a sports car, who’s gonna find out? They’re all FROZEN. Frozen, and clueless.
It’s genius. It’s beautiful. It’s perfect. Which is probably why Out Of This World still has a small but rabid fan-base on the Internet; you can apparently sign a petition to bring the show to DVD, but it’s really not the show I’m invested in. It’s the concept. Not only does Evie’s existence fulfill the classic childhood desire to be someone extraordinary (in the tradition of the Harry Potter school of “Surprise! You’re actually superior in every conceivable way to all the boring, crummy people around you!”) but I’ve envied her particular superpower for over two decades now. Every looming deadline, every interminable meeting, even every elevator door closing entirely too quickly—all perfectly solvable, in Evie’s world. In Out of This World, life is just a great big game of freeze tag that you always win…and I want it. And so, hands down, this is my vote for Best Superpower Ever.
As long as Burt Reynolds doesn’t get to live in a cube next to my bed. (Because that’s just weird).
I remember this show and watched far too much of it as a young’un.
Someone should write Evie/Stefan Urquelle slash.
I think of this show whenever I hear Swinging On A Star! (Which is whenever I watch Hudson Hawk.)
I’ve never heard of this show. It must have come when I had no television…the long, dark entertainment interregnum of my youth.
Wow…I felt sure that the first responses to this post would be people yelling at me for picking the wrong superpower. Glad that’s not the case, I guess?
@@@@@ brainwane #1
By “someone,” do you mean you? Because that would be awesome. I was going to suggest that you work Alf in there somewhere, but then things might just get weird…not in a good way :)
@@@@@ Martha Flynn #2
Yes–Bing Crosby has never sounded quite the same to me since the aliens took his song…
@@@@@ jasonhenninger #3
Honestly? There are clips all over YouTube, but unless you can magically force your mind back into pristine late-80s condition, it’s probably better to just pretend it didn’t happen. Like I try to do with Seventh Heaven.
There was a Twilight Zone in which a woman gains the ability to Stop Time, only to discover that there are ICBMs in the air mere minutes (seconds?) away from blowing everyone to hell. She stops time….I was very effectively creeped out and still cannot stand the idea of this particular power.
Holy glowing cubes, Bridget! I watched the show a little as a kid, and then in high school I had an English teacher who wrote for them. Ed McCatty. He actually wore a bowtie and saddle shoes, a la the uncle dude. I really hated the man, so I could never watch the show again…actually, not a huge loss…
I remembered the show, vaguely, as a concept—and then I watched that clip, and it aaaall came flooding back. That song. That damn song. Funny, I don’t remember the show being anywhere near as sfnal as that opening sequence.
@@@@@ thumbelinablues #6
I can’t believe the powers that be loosed the writers of that show upon society, much less let them try to mold impressionable young minds. You poor, poor girl. I’m surprised you don’t suffer from occasional bad, sitcom-y flashbacks…do you?
@@@@@ pablo
No, the opening credits and the cube were about as SciFi as the show ever got, really. A few Buck Rogers references here, a Star Wars parody there…the SF premise just served as an excuse for the usual well-worn sitcom schtik. See also: Mork & Mindy, ALF, Small Wonder, etc…
I always thought a glowing cube was the safest place to keep Burt Reynolds.
@9
That makes me think of General Zod.
Which then makes me think that Burt Reynolds would make a peculiar sort of space tyrant.
“Come to me, Superman. I defy you and stuff, tough guy. Kneel before Burt! Burt! Yeah, pretty much all of Planet Houston is mine now. Uh huh.”
I’ve never seen the show, but stopping time has always been my ideal super power, especially now that I’m in design school. Imagine what I could do if I got a full night’s sleep!
The great (if somewhat pulpy) John D. MacDonald wrote this idea up beautifully in The Girl, the Gold Watch, and Everything. Highly recommended for fans of the concept.
It was made into a TV movie which I’m sure I must have watched at that age, but don’t really remember, so it must not have been very good.
This is also my ideal superpower, and I’ve thought about it way too much. I’ve discovered the catch! If you continue to age while time is stopped, and you use this power as much as I would, you’re going to die of old age at thirty-five.
So just remember that when the genie shows up: No aging during freeze-time.
As a kid I thought the best superpower would be the power to avoid time. Say you go to the dentist and sit down in the chair, and she tells you that you need to get a filling. Rather than sit there and endure the pain, you summon your aspect and jump to the time right after it’s all over and the novocaine has worn off. Not that you disappeared and reappeared after the drilling was over; your body stayed there, and even behaved just as if you were there, but you’ve skipped the painful parts and gone straight ahead to the next chapter of your life.
With this power you can avoid all the painful and boring parts of life, and concentrate on the parties and the long walks on the beach.
Oh, definitely not. Although I’ve always thought of it as a cool technology I want to possess, not a superpower. My first encounter with the idea was in a Judge Dredd story where the villain of the week had a belt that allowed him to stop time, and was using it to steal stuff that was incredibly hard to get to.
Definitely want.
Stopping time also pops up in the Arthur C Clarke story ‘All The Time In The World’ but that’s not important right now. Not sure this show was shown in the UK, which is odd given that ‘Automan’ was (though I still have a soft spot for that series). But never mind Burt Reynolds, it’s got Doug McClure in it! Our Doug! Trampus in ‘The Virginian’! The hero of ‘At’s The Earth’s Core’ and ‘The Land That Time Forgot’ (which is all we pre-Star Wars ’70s kids had to live off in the cinema) and a weird spy series that also had Burgess Meredith in it called something like ‘Search Control’ which only I seem to remember.
Of course I remember this show fondly! But I suspect it has aged about as well as another fun genre show of the time: Small Wonder. Which is to say, not well at all. :(
[quote=”SpeakerToManagers”]As a kid I thought the best superpower would be the power to avoid time.[/quote]
They did a film about somebody with that power sometime in the last few years. I didn’t go see it, because it had Adam Sandler in, but I gather things turned out badly for him…
@18: wasn’t that “Click”?
@@.-@: Not quite to spec:
I remember the show, too, but like you I only really remember Evie, her mom, Burt and her power.
Was she able to unfreeze individuals? Because otherwise that seems like it would get really lonely.
Also, Heroes ripped off her power and gave it to Hiro as part of his time and space thing. Though they have a bigger budget and better special effects.
I agree that it would be a cool power, but only if you could selectively unfreeze other people (IMO). And I’d still be torn between that and teleportation. Come to think of it, Hiro from Heroes (that gets old really fast) can do both. I want his powers…